Ep.63 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

  • Objavljeno Pred mesecem

    YourMomsHousePodcast

    Trajanje: 1:31:55

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    Tom Segura is back in the studio with Bert Kreischer for this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. The Bears start off by discussing Dr. Dre's brain aneurysm, Kumail Nanjiani's fitness regimen, and recapping their New Year's Eve live show. They respond to listener emails about original thoughts and large penis problems. They call Bert's father to discuss what he does for a living, and wrap up by brainstorming which of the world's monarchies is the most fun?
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Zach
Zach

I love how Bert thinks only low income families can't afford $4k for a vaccine. Especially a vaccine that doesn't prevent you from getting or spreading the virus. lol

Pred 11 urami
J DUB
J DUB

Brent's crackhead brain is strong in this one.

Pred 7 dnevi
steamin forward
steamin forward

I love how Bert has a communal accent for all foreign characters

Pred 8 dnevi
insidiousmaximus
insidiousmaximus

Beta males with full beards and a pod cast. Loserville

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S Man
S Man

5 mph is barely a “run”

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Rooney Fam
Rooney Fam

Go back to old set:(

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Redbadger Compton
Redbadger Compton

That would be the best way for bert to let tom use his chapstick #smalldickproblems #bertisracist lol love the show yall rock!!!!

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Benj231983
Benj231983

Bert is a gay, bisexual man!

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Brandon Underwood
Brandon Underwood

6 degrees of separation: she was on Deal or no deal with Howie Mandel who used to perform at the Comedy Store. Tim and Burnt perform at the Comedy Store.

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S F
S F

Guys, the path to knighthood is through Jim Norton. He knows Meghan Markle since he went on a date with her.

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Blaine Todd
Blaine Todd

Gay porn? Ba dom

Pred 16 dnevi
Mike Bressette
Mike Bressette

Since podcasts have become a thing I've always disliked them because its basically talk radio. This one has me hooked for whatever reason. Good job.

Pred 17 dnevi
vandieselcuuuz
vandieselcuuuz

Nadav in the background dying every 2 min is what I come here for lmao

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Ashton Young
Ashton Young

#2kRun21 would be a good hashtag

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Nicholas de Aquino Harasz
Nicholas de Aquino Harasz

#BK2k21

Pred 22 dnevi
Ginge
Ginge

LOL Ray hit it all

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Gregory Rodriguez
Gregory Rodriguez

Where can I get a hat like Bert's??

Pred 24 dnevi
Frank Tavárez
Frank Tavárez

“John Mulaney went to rehab” “I wish him well!” *Tim Dillon joined the chat *

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Sam Stein
Sam Stein

Bert you're dumb 5:53

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Brady Ard
Brady Ard

I would for sure watch a movie with Bret Crystals as a Knight. I know it's been done a hundred times but he goes back in time and is a knight and just parties all the time.

Pred 27 dnevi
devin yeaman
devin yeaman

Bert calm down

Pred 27 dnevi
Jimmy D
Jimmy D

2Knights1Castle

Pred 28 dnevi
Space Food
Space Food

#BK2K

Pred 28 dnevi
NulJern
NulJern

a fat american calling french people fat when it's actually what everybody thinks of americans. how ironic.

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Schwieg
Schwieg

Which episode do Bert and tom tell each other they would miss each other more than their wives?

Pred 28 dnevi
Ethan Irwin
Ethan Irwin

The homely pound conspicuously moan because fahrenheit worrisomely post after a red toenail. capable, noisy forehead

Pred 29 dnevi
Henry Koster
Henry Koster

I 100% believe that Bert fucked a jar of Vaseline and made up the chapped dong story as an excuse when Leeann asked him why there was a hole in the Vaseline.

Pred 29 dnevi
FamousNo7
FamousNo7

We should google ‘Old Queens’....yeah you go ahead with that Bert 🤣

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Kris Brooks
Kris Brooks

Salty Army

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Lorden Miller
Lorden Miller

#2021Kreischer2K

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Jennifer Mommy
Jennifer Mommy

There is a barrier cream called bum butter. It's made as a diaper cream but its great for chapped skin. Its safe enuf for babies and is made with shea-butter. I found this out when my besty popped over and he is 6'4", a big guy and in the summer he gets chafed thighs etc. All I had was the bumbutter, so he tried it and buys it himself now. You don't know its on. Its not greasy. Smells beautiful. Reasonably-priced. Good for lots of barrier cream needs without a prescription.

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Josh Boyden
Josh Boyden

2 Bears 1 Cave --> 2 Knights 1 Castle

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leo sky
leo sky

"Jail rapist with ED" is a world level original thought. someone needs to make a sketch out of it.

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leo sky
leo sky

Bert running 2k miles this year is a good recipe for brand new kneecap and hip implants within the next 5 years

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guitjolin
guitjolin

"Can't wait until Friday, I'm gonna f#_& that guy" - Tom Segura

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Ali Cat
Ali Cat

35:00 that's why you need foreskin.

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Indie ZA
Indie ZA

TOM'S REACTION, when Bert says he didn't read it

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SVTVN 667
SVTVN 667

My homies being doxxed and calling it spoofed. That's a mile behind, Ily tho dnt fuck with Saudis, and yes, they fuck with Trump

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Aidan Perrin
Aidan Perrin

Bert "My $4,000 would be substitized" Kreischer

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Abdul-Hakeem Burns
Abdul-Hakeem Burns

18:00 Indians, Pakastanis, and Bangladeshis are all literally the same people, but they didn't become different countries until like the 1970s or something, now they get upset over imaginary political lines on the ground

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Aaron Mattox
Aaron Mattox

That’s CRAZY that Bret takes 4,000 mg of vitamin D every day. That’s like 300 entire packs of Vitamin D from Walmart. I don’t think 99.9% of people would take that much over their entire lifespan. This dude really goes all in.

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Richard Balistreri
Richard Balistreri

My wife walked in exactly when Tom started reading about a guy’s huge junk problems, I pause it, she looks at me and goes “are you gay?” Thanks Tom. Yes. I’m gay.

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Justin Snow
Justin Snow

You guys should have an hour show on tv. Luv you guys!

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Jay Meyer
Jay Meyer

#Krei2K

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nick gustafson
nick gustafson

why not #2021miles

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Max Leininger
Max Leininger

#2k2bears

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JexanRP
JexanRP

1:08:15 I love how Tom brings up IMMEDIATELY someone dying & then proceeds to sit up to engage more😂😂😂

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dstubby82
dstubby82

34:51 *looks to camera*

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david Okk
david Okk

We got a king in Holland!

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Adrien Pinard
Adrien Pinard

The miscreant community microcephaly long because cattle aetiologically receive before a maniacal siberian. hulking, stormy dry

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Frankie Cuellar
Frankie Cuellar

(2 BEARS NEW HAT REVIEW)I finally got the head then and I just want to say it's really ugly when I have in real life it just doesn't look right with two logos it looks like a mistake or something it's more of a collector's item if than anything? But yeah little disappointed on the two bears hat?🤔 if how are you guys I will go back to the drawing boards and come up with something where it's two bears but in one logo cuz the two logos there it just looks weird like a mistake or something and I get weird looks when I wear it out and that one compliment? 🤔

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Kevin Marks
Kevin Marks

Tom reminds me of Jim from the ( American) Office with the looks at the camera.

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z3m0s
z3m0s

I don't know how I've never thought of it until now, but we're watching a fuckin podcast on it with two dudes named Albert and Thomas. . . Wtf

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Lyle Wares
Lyle Wares

I’m here for you’re original thoughts Bert

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S wilkins
S wilkins

King of Thailand is totally their speed lol

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Jayyy667
Jayyy667

Chosenberg circle jerk

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Ben Wolfram
Ben Wolfram

Dr. Cool J.... paging Dr. Cool J.

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jt abdella
jt abdella

whats with the seat switch

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Manitoba
Manitoba

LOL! That dude always cracking up in the background!

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Jacob Harbic
Jacob Harbic

Lyle would’ve been perfect for this episode

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uncle mma
uncle mma

i bet Burp Christmas gets all his news from CNN

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Luke D
Luke D

the fact that bert says that kumails body is MAYBE unattainable for him shows how completely detached from reality he is lol how dumb is Brent Chrysler

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AJ Branson
AJ Branson

Bert... LinkActive jogging shorts. Should solve your problem.

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JUSTE
JUSTE

Two dishwashers is so dumb.

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BrettWood38
BrettWood38

"Prince Albert is named after an earring in your cock" - Bard Karhartt

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Chenoa
Chenoa

Vox is so biased and unreliable they actually make the NYT look sort of reliable.

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trainhairs
trainhairs

can't wait for 2 Knights 1 Castle

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J S
J S

Tom's busted ass left leg and giant hog can't fit under the table

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Nolioli Ravioli
Nolioli Ravioli

Kumail seems to be on a cycle of multiple things. Marvel people are usually pretty hardcore hes definitly on test boosters, I would assume hes on Trenbolone since he put on so much mass so fast but he might be on Saarms too. Who knows though could be rad 140 or some shit. he definitly took hella fat burners and cut water to get to the physique in those pictures tho.

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A M
A M

Bert talking about BLM like they weren’t torching cities all year

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Tom Koepke
Tom Koepke

After drunk astronauts, we have drunk Saudi Princes

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CraigChelsea
CraigChelsea

Bert got each member of the Royal family wrong in that photo which is very Bert.

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e m
e m

Spoffing is lying.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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Trever B
Trever B

LOL tough times for us big dicks that podcast u realized ur dicks nice! thanks boys

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Heath Helton
Heath Helton

Who dislikes you guys so much that you get 645 dislikes? Wtf? Sour asses 😂

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Rusty Blumpkins
Rusty Blumpkins

I’m a proud user of the drink in shoe method

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stm1201
stm1201

So is this coming to an end when Tom moves???

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phalangetonguer
phalangetonguer

I got a star trek ad right as bert said picard

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Sibusiso Kofi
Sibusiso Kofi

Eedjits

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bernardo camacho jr
bernardo camacho jr

That's what he gets for canceling apu 😆 lol

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jeh zee
jeh zee

#2bears2k21

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Friedrich Jan Georg R
Friedrich Jan Georg R

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL BRET ABOUT THE KING OF THAILAND!

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Vihtic
Vihtic

The idea that these super fit bodies are unobtainable is so fucking stupid. Millions of people get ripped without the help of nutritionists or trainers. There's no secret to losing fat. Eat less, exercise more. There's no secret to building muscle. Lift weights. You can lay out an entire diet and workout routine in less than a couple of hours with all of the information on the internet. The people that shame these celebrities for getting in great shape with outside help might just be the most r-worded people on the planet.

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Jamie Dye
Jamie Dye

Way to many adds

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Greg Brent
Greg Brent

I love that Bert's original vaccine thought is just "taxes, but with more steps"

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ice4mysoda619
ice4mysoda619

The difference is Pakistani are Muslims. Most of India is Hindu. They didn't get along so they pushed them out and they created their own country. That's pretty much the gist of it

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Liam Horgan
Liam Horgan

“Mul-tee vit-ah-mins” vs “mul-tye vy-tah-mins”

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Shawn Patterson
Shawn Patterson

Should pick up a knee brace sponsor

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Dylan Bye
Dylan Bye

Bert: if you know or are a king or queen let us know YMH Fans: We know a guy TikTok king: Hello my Kings and Queens above 18

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Dylan Bye
Dylan Bye

🤣😂

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YankinANDGankin
YankinANDGankin

#BertRuns 🤣

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Dooglasie Whiteknee
Dooglasie Whiteknee

What if instead of 2000 miles you ran 2021miles and used #2021miles

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8thlvlMage
8thlvlMage

"That's how it is every day. If you don't stay in your house, you're just waiting for shit to show up." Yeah Bert. That's why we're staying in our fucking houses. Guess who doesn't have to feel that way? Myself and every other person who stays home like we should.

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Backoutification
Backoutification

How’s that going for you bro

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Backoutification
Backoutification

Lmao

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Kevin Doyle
Kevin Doyle

Wtf switch back asses

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Christopher Gonzalez
Christopher Gonzalez

The strong dressing repressingly reduce because dollar temporarily attract without a imaginary lily. industrious, amused port

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djhart25
djhart25

Just up it to 2021 miles.. #run2021miles

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Sam T
Sam T

2kBK

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Pogo Cat
Pogo Cat

Bert is killing ymh studios

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Amie H.
Amie H.

I love you guys.❤

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Gil Ropte
Gil Ropte

#2KR or #2K21 , #2KR21 you could make shirts i think its sell pretty good get joe to wear one.

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Sonofmon
Sonofmon

Most men in 40s and 50s can start taking testosterone injections prescribed, if it starts getting low. More common than you think. Most men I know that do, feel a hell of a lot better too.

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M Cens
M Cens

Do you think Bert remembers how many blowies he gave in college?

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Naprej

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